Redefining Christianity

Yes, it’s been over a week since I’ve written. Sorry. Let’s move on.

We had our first rehearsal (read-through) for Safe Haven yesterday. It’s always a little frightening to hear the script out loud for the first time – I hear all those parts where lines don’t sound the way I thought they would, and I end up cringing a lot. But there were remarkably few of those spots yesterday. It went well, and I think I’ll only be tinkering with lines, not writing whole new sections, like I did in Blackwell Inn.

It was also good to hear people reading and feel like I cast it well. Characters and actors are good matches.

One thing I heard as we read yesterday that I didn’t like was how often I used the words christian and christianity in the script. As I mentioned in my very first post on this site, I don’t really like those words. In today’s society, they don’t tend to mean what they’re supposed to. Christian should mean Christ-follower, but to those outside the church, it too often means crazy, hate-filled idiot. A major theme in the script is the difference between those who use their christianity to beat others over the head and those who have genuine faith. I hope, through advertising, to be able to draw in an audience from outside the church, and I hope to show them that following Jesus is different from what they may have thought. But I fear if I use that word too much, they may tune out anything else. So there’s a place for tinkering.

It’s Done

I just typed the most beautiful words in a writer’s language – The End. I finished the rough draft of Safe Haven. And the last line even brought tears to my eyes.

Of course, there’s lots of editing to be done, and much work ahead. But I had never written a full-length play before. For the Passion play, I was just arranging a familiar story, and as far as original plots, 45 minutes was the longest play I’d written. I really didn’t know if I could pull this off.

But the script is done. The story is there. And I think it’s going to be good.

Thank You, God, for the inspiration. I know it was You.

Procrastination

I promised myself that while Nathan was at school today, I would do nothing but work on the Safe Haven script, which really, truly must get done ASAP. So what have I done in the last hour and a half? I had breakfast, which I suppose was necessary – at least the coffee was necessary. I took stock of the Christmas presents I’ve bought so far and what still needs to be done – not necessary, at least not today. And now I’m here, writing a rambling blog about procrastination. Definitely not necessary.

I’m not very good about writing endings. Actually, I do okay with the absolute end, the very final moment. The problem is the point when I’ve finished laying out all the plot threads, and it’s time to start tying them all together so that the script will come to that final moment. It’s the point when I realize, suddenly, that the script as it is on paper doesn’t match the shining vision I had in my head when I started. Suddenly there’s all this pressure – this is supposed to be meaningful! Make it count! And I freeze up and can’t make myself write at all.

So I count Christmas presents, and I sit around wondering whether Nathan will be disappointed that I bought him three books and only one video game (ah, the tribulations of having a writer for a mother).

The issue of the script on paper not matching the vision in my head is even harder to reconcile when writing drama. I used to write prose, and then it was fairly straightforward – if the words don’t say what you mean, you have work to do. When you’re writing drama, even the perfect words won’t completely match your vision when they’re just lying there on the paper. Drama, by definition, requires another element  to fulfill the vision. It won’t seem right until the actors step in and bring the words to life. So then I sit here wondering – does this seem flat because it’s flat, or because it’s waiting for actors to breathe the breath of life into it? And I realize I’ve spent twenty minutes trying to hear actors saying the words and I haven’t written a thing.

The auditions are set for December 20, and before that I have to finish the script, edit the script and get the script printed. Not to mention developing the rehearsal schedule, which is a whole other issue. Though I guess it’s okay if it’s not in final form until our first read through on January 3.

No – must not think that way. Must not encourage procrastination. 

It’s only 10 – 15 pages left. I should be able to get it done in a couple of days, if I just do it. “Come on Melissa! You can do it! I have confidence in you! Woo hoo!”

But I need to refill my coffee, first.

Encouraging Rejections

It doesn’t seem like the words encouraging and rejection ought to come together to make one phrase. I received one of these little oxymorons in yesterday’s mail. I suppose it’s better than a form rejection. Maybe.

I had sent Blackwell Inn to Lillenas, one of the premier publishers for Christian drama. I wasn’t sure my stuff was up to their standards, but I decided to try there first. And here’s what I got back. “I really liked this – excellent! – but we don’t have a need for it right now.” So, yeah – excellent is nice to hear in response to my work, especially from a respected publisher. But it leaves me wondering, if excellent isn’t enough to get me in the door, where do I go from here?

Yes, I know, it was a matter of timing. But it’s really frustrating.

I guess this is where faith comes in – again. Everything in life comes back to faith, and trusting that God has it all under control. It’s so easy to look at what we want and assume that’s what’s best for us. So often He has different plans, something we never could have imagined.

I sent Blackwell Inn out again already to the next publisher on my list. We’ll see what happens.

Where’s the Donkey?

We’ve done it now. The new play (tentatively titled Safe Haven) is officially on the church calendar for the weekend of April 11. Guess this means I’d better finish it.

This is going to be a real act of faith, as this is an entirely new direction for us. Every Easter for the past five years, we’ve presented a full-scale Passion play. This began as a choir musical with some drama linking the scenes, but as the drama ministry grew, the Passion play became true musical theater – a story told through drama, supported by songs. This is what our church does every spring. The congregation knows that. The community knows that.

But not this year.

We are (as of last month) between worship pastors, and we didn’t feel we could pull off the full-scale musical without a music director. So we’re doing something completely different – a contemporary drama with no music, no dancing, no smoke machines. The last couple of years I wanted to try something like this. People stop paying attention if you do the same thing all the time, so I’ve wanted to do something new, something to splash cold water on their faces and wake them up. But now that I have the chance to do so, I’m scared to death.

What if nobody likes it? What if nobody even comes? What if I pour hours and my soul into this production, and the reaction is – What happened to the donkey they used to have?

This is where prayer comes in, and faith to follow God’s leading down a path I haven’t known. He took away the option of the Easter musical, despite our prayers to the contrary, so He apparently wants us to try something different. He put the idea for this script into my heart before I knew we wouldn’t be doing the Passion play, so I know it’s a story He wants told. Now it’s a matter of trusting Him – trusting that He’ll give me the words to finish the script, trusting that He’ll bring our cast together to learn a very different type of play, trusting that He’ll prepare people’s hearts to be able to receive it. He always does this, you see. He always puts us in a place where, when we’re successful, we have no choice but to give Him the glory, because we know we didn’t do it on our own.

And I’m grateful for that. I just hope no one asks about the donkey.